So, Stephanie and I have been doing work around the house over the past couple of weeks. Yesterday evening, I could have sworn I was playing the lead role in the following movie:



Let me tell you why...

1) I noticed a small nest of some sort above our garage door and decided that the nest needed to be removed. I used a broomstick in my attempt to knock the nest down, but only tore the nest open instead. As soon as I realized the nest wasn't the consistency I expected it to be, all of these tiny spiders started raining down on me. I'm not kidding, there were hundreds of baby spiders in my hair. That part in Charlotte's Web with the baby spiders isn't so cute to me anymore.

2) I went inside to grab my MP3 player so that I could listen to music while I pulled weeds. For some stupid reason, I brought a small spade shovel inside with me. While I was turning on the power of the MP3 player, I stupidly forgot that I was still holding the small spade shovel. Okay, by this point, "holding" is the wrong word. "Dropping" would be more appropriate. I dropped the stupid thing right on the cuticle of my big toe. I was in a stupid amount of pain. After a short time spent lying on the stupid floor in the fetal position, I was able to carry on with my yardworking duties.

3) I encountered a new type of weed in my backyard (new to me at least). This weed had velcronic (oh yes, I have just made up a word) abilities. As in, the little barbs on the weed were the "hook" and the texture of my skin was the "loop" in the hook-and-loop paradigm. A very interesting kind of pain presented itself in this particular type of attachment. It was similar to the sensation you get when somebody scrapes their knife across a plate, except instead of just being annoying, there was sharp pain involved.

Wow. When you combine this post with my last one, you might have the desire to stay away from me, lest my bad luck rub off on you.